Personal Training: Session 6

My body is strong.  My body is beautiful.  

I love to move.  To feel my body.

I've been disconnected for too long.  I'm getting back into my skin. 
 (thanks TheBerry for the motivation!)

It's no secret that I have body dysmorphic tendencies.  (Tendencies, not BDD.)  I'm certainly not the only one who is unhappy with their appearance.  I can't think of one friend who is satisfied with their physical appearance.  Which is silly because I have some mighty fine friends.  (You're welcome.) 

Earlier this year, say about a month ago, I was in a dark place.  My body image was at an all time low, and the subsequent anxiety was crippling.  I was in a place where meeting my friends for drinks would cause a mild panic attack.  My boyfriend heard nothing but a litany of how unhappy I was and how fat I felt.  (How fun for him.) Thankfully Chris is a supportive and patient man, and time and again he would talk me down from the ledge.  He'd also reassure me that I am "cute as hell." Awww.  However he didn't completely let me off the hook, because every time I'd complain he would ask what I could do to start making myself feel better.  Every single time I'd answer "I need to start working out again."

So simple. So true.

I'm only three weeks into working out with Alison/training for the MARATHON and I already feel more like myself.  I'm not 100% or even 75% satisfied with my physical appearance, but I'm not dwelling on it.  I don't have anxiety attacks when I think about what I'm going to wear in public.  I appreciate my body.  I have respect for my body.  It is strong, it is getting stronger.  Running is getting easier and is feeling great.  I'm sleeping more soundly.  I made it through 90 min of Bikram Yoga after work yesterday.  Thank you, Body. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm not out of the dark entirely, but everyday is getting lighter.


Today's Workout:

30 seconds jumping-jacks
10x backward lunge w/ 8lb wt both hands
10x shoulder raises to side and front
15 push-ups
10x med ball v-hold crossovers
10x foam roller balance scissor kicks
5x foam roller balance leg raises

15x walking lunge & high knee w/ med ball above head
30 second plank
10x biceps on machine 
30 second plank
10x biceps on machine
15x walking lunge & high knee w/ med ball above head

30 sec kettlebell half swing (30 sec each arm)
8x bosu ball lunges (each leg)

w/u 5 min
Run 4 min
fast walk 2 min
run 6 min
fast walk 3 min
run 4 min
fast walk 3 min
c/d 5 min

(I missed a day.  No. I skipped writing about a session, I didn't miss the work out.  It was good. I sweated a lot.  I was sore the next day.  I had visitors in town, so I didn't want to ignore them in favor of this blog.) 

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