I was on the treadmill this morning, attempting to ignore the fact that my body hates running, and I couldn't help but be distracted by the man on the treadmill next to me. He made what can only be described as "come hither" faces at himself in the mirror for the entire time I was on the treadmill. 45 minutes. You go ahead and try to concentrate on not falling off the spinning torture machine when you're doing your best not to laugh out loud.
I WAKE AND FEEL THE FELL OF DARK, NOT DAY
By Gerard Manley Hopkins
I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day.
What hours, O what black hours we have spent
This night! what sights you, heart, saw; ways you went!
And more must, in yet longer light's delay.
With witness I speak this. But where I say
Hours I mean years, mean life. And my lament
Is cries countless, cries like dead letters sent
To dearest him that lives alas! away.
I am gall, I am heartburn. God's most deep decree
Bitter would have me taste: my taste was me;
Bones built in me. flesh filled, blood brimmed the curse.
Selfyeast of spirit a dull dough sours. I see
The lost are like this, and their scourge to be
As I am mine, their sweating selves; but worse.
Yoga. Crocheting. The Sound of Music. All in all everything I need to make a rainy May day bearable.
I finally finished the baby blanket for my friends in Minnesota. I sent it along in the mail, stuffing as many good wishes and happy thoughts as I could into the envelope before sealing it. Apparently when she opened the package and unwrapped the blanket the baby kicked, I like to think that the baby felt all the happy thoughts I was sending along to him.
(Want the pattern? Comment and I'll send it along...)
Let's talk a moment about something other than crocheting: namely the fact that all of my friends are getting married or doing great/grown-up things with their lives. I am not. I am still doing the same things I was when I moved to Portland. I can't really believe that I'm four days shy of my two year anniversary of nursing school graduation. Have I really been a nurse for 2 years? On one hand it seems like I've always been a nurse, on the other....
I don't know. I guess I feel like I'm on the cusp of something and it's driving me crazy not to know what it is. I thought for a while that it was going to be graduate school, but with this crazy economy and possible lack of job security (yes...even as a nurse) graduate school simply doesn't make sense right now. I have a job, and what makes the most sense is keeping it. So not graduate school. I'm in no financial position to buy a house. I'm not inline for a promotion at work, unless you count being charge nurse...which I do not. And yet...and yet there is this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me something is going to change in my life, and not just in my life but change my life. (It is this same gut intuition that makes being a nurse both satisfying and insanely frustrating.) What is it universe? Can't send a little clue my way? PLEEEEAASSE? Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Okay. Vapid whining over.
I'm going to watch Maria and Captain VonTrapp fall in love.
I've taken a brief leave of absence from this blog. But now I'm back, having spent my time crocheting and collecting thoughts and ideas that I like to share. Ha. Actually I love crocheting and I think it would be lots of fun to start a craft blog...in fact my friend and I have discussed starting one together. She's far craftier than I am and would be better at it...but anyway it might be a possibility.
That, an octopus by the way, is one of the things I could share with a craft blog! I could also share how to make silly things like those paper roses in the background. They don't look like much in this picture, but they're almost 2 years old and have stood up to time and a mischievous kitty quite well.
Crocheting is very soothing for me. I started to learn how when I was in my senior year of nursing school. Well, truth be told I attempted knitting first but the coordination required to control two knitting needles and the fear that I was going to poke my eyes out made me turn quite quickly to crocheting. I guess the main motivation to learn was the fact that I adore scarves and could no longer afford to buy myself the pretty scarves at the co-op and thus decided I should be able to make one for myself. And so I did. Now to motivation lies in the fact that I really love the soothing rhythm of twisting yarn into tangible objects. Scarves, afghans, octopus...you name it and I'll try. I'm currently in the process of making a baby blanket for a friend and will post pictures when I'm done.
I also am fostering a love of gardening. I'm really terrible at it. I can't seem to keep a plant alive for longer than two days. Good thing this does not translate into my job. It seems like it should be easy...you just water plants, right? Make sure they get sun. Seems brainless. However...I kill them. I have a black thumb. Poor plants.Oh well. I can't wait to have a yard and garden!
Crocheting. Gardening. Poetry. I'm officially old before I've reached 27.