baby toes

Anyone who spends any time with me, or watches me interact with children for any amount of time knows that I'm not particularly child friendly.  It's not that I'm kid hater or refuse to spend time with them, it's just that they make me uncomfortable if one is forced to spend more than 30 minutes with them.  Plus kids don't understand sarcasm, and I speak mostly sarcasm.  

I could continue with the litany of why I don't enjoy children, but it's making me feel particularly Grinch-like, and I don't like that.

Much to my mother's disappointment, I have not yet experienced the urge to bring a child into the world.  I spent several hours (approx 150) in the labor and delivery ward during nursing school, and let me tell you, if I ever do become pregnant they'd better come up with a new way to get the baby out.  Seriously. I have no doubt that at some point this desire will grab hold of me, and I will likely respond with a very loud "what the F*$*!?!?!?"  

Anyway, my dear friend, J, had a baby on the 2nd.  She's probably my favorite person to work with, she's very laid back, has a fantastic sense of humor and is really just a wonderful person.  I went to see her and the little baby today and it was wonderful.  Babies are so inherently sweet.  You can't help but want to cuddle them.  And I did.  For almost an hour and a half.  I loved his little teeny toes, and little tiny fingers and his faux-hawk. Mostly I love how babies look like little concerned old men, little frogs and peanuts all wrapped up in one.  Watching her interact with her baby kind of made me understand how wonderful it would be to have one.  

But I do really enjoy my sleep and virtually responsibility free lifestyle.  I guess my point is that, I like knowing that I have that capacity in me.  Sometimes I feel like I let the snark, sarcasm and general pessimistic worldview take me over, and it's nice to know that all it takes is holding a sweet tiny baby to make me melt.