post marathon blues: minus the marathon

I was totally intending to post a glowing review of my 2012 Hood to Coast experience.  It was going to be great, a recap of each leg (including elevation charts), funny (if somewhat tangental) stories about the adventures we had.  Including how I ran 7.5 miles of the hardest run in my van on stress fractures, how my teammates were awesome but had a penchant for taking a hit just before running, how I fell down a mile into my third leg (it's the strangest experience...you're running, and the next thing you know you're on the ground in blinding pain and bleeding everywhere), how 6 strangers huddled on a tarp to sleep in the middle of a field of sleeping people, and how they almost refused to let me into the beer garden at the end because the bouncer thought I had a fake ID (sir please, I am almost 30).  It was a grand experience.  I even had picture of Baby Troll at the top of the mountain to share.  Oh well.

Internet I have been in a funk for the past month.  At first I thought it was because I had to massively cut back on my workouts, everything I seemed to do was super painful.  I'll be the first to tell you I'm much happier when I get any kind of workout in. 

Then it occurred to me....post-marathon depression.  I've been planning and training for this marathon since January, it's been in the back of my mind.  Encouraging me, keeping me off the couch and up and active.   And then, suddenly, I'm NOT doing the marathon and I'm not exercising at all.  And I'm sitting on the couch....and bam.  No wonder I'm a cranky mess all the time.

Is it possible to have post marathon depression without having run the marathon?

I should be in the best shape of my life right now, but instead I've spent five weeks sitting on the couch watching all kinds of bad television.  (Yes. I am now completely caught up with the Kardashians.)

I should be running a marathon in 8 days. My body should be coursing with endorphins, instead I feel sad and empty.

I should be running per the training schedule that's on my fridge, instead I glare at it as I get food out of the fridge.  AND I'm gaining weight because my eating habits haven't changed. 

I am a grumpy person.  All will be better on Oct 8.  That's when I can resume the run. 

Hooray.

ARGH!!

So. 

Here we are, a mere three weeks from the Portland Marathon, and I haven't been for a run in, oh, two weeks.

What?

How can one possibly expect to run a marathon if they haven't been running?  Am I insane?  Am I just blowing caution to the wind?  Do I expect to be one of those crazy people who never trains for a marathon, and yet can miraculously finish?

No.

I have a confession to make.  A shameful shameful confession. 

*deep breath*

I purposefully went to the gym to run on the treadmill today instead of running outside so I could catch up with the Kardashians.

Sigh.

I tell myself I'm running at the gym so I can use the treadmill as a training tool, to push myself to hold a specific pace.  But the next thing you know I'm walking and staring blankly at the screen as the Kardashian clan fill their days with...well I'm still not too sure how they fill their days.

So I told my self I could watch this mind numbing television, as long as I ran while the show was on.  As fast as I could.  I could my pace during commercials, but once the show was back on the speed went up.  I forgot, you see, about how reality television is structured to have a nice LONG segment right at the start of a show to suck you in.  And so, 10 minutes in to my sprint I stopped caring about whether Rob was going to buy his $1million house, and whether Khloe was going to let him live with her again.  I just wanted a commercial. And the more I wanted a commercial the sillier the TV show became. 

I think I may have found the cure of my reality TV problem.

Camping.

So.  The achilles tendonitis seems to be healing itself nicely.  I only had one little flare up this weekend, and that's just because I hiked to some beautiful water falls in my sandals.  I blame it on the camping brain.  You know, how all the rules become super flexible and how things that seem really important just kinda fade away? I love camping for that very reason.

We went camping this weekend.  First time camping in Oregon.  This is not to say I have not been camping in the past five years.  I have, but never in Oregon.  We went to central Oregon, in the Deschutes National forest. Paulina Lake.  It was beautiful.  It was serene.  It was full of all sorts of recreational activities.  It was cold, and full of mosquitos.  Most importantly it was 6350 feet above sea level. 

Why is this important?  It's important because I am a delicate flower, and my feelings are often bruised.  Especially when it comes to "not being in shape."  You see...Portland has an altitude of approximately 50 feet.  (Whee! We're so high in the sky!) There's lots of lovely oxygen here, and my body is used to it.  It likes it.  It relishes all the oxygen.  It cries out in pain when there isn't as much around me.  Hiking at 6350 feet? I get super winded.  I forget that my body is used to zero altitude, and then spend the majority of the hike bemoaning the fact that I'm uber out of shape.  And then I'm cranky and declare that an obsidian flow is a RIDICULOUS name for a flow that is OBVIOUSLY MOSTLY PUMICE.

But I'm very pleasant about it.

Running and camping are an interesting combination.   Well, at least the kind of camping I do.  The kind where you gloss over the amount of clothes you need while you're packing figuring "hey, it's camping...everyone is dirty" but then only pack one pair of socks for 3 days.  One pair of socks to run in, hike in, sleep in, to wear to prevent mosquitos from sucking all the blood out of your feet.  One pair of pants.  No wash cloth or spit bath materials.  And certainly no fancy schmancy camp shower.
So...you figure maybe you don't need to run.  You're hinking! You're treking in creepy caves, (all the while trying desperately to not think of every horror story ever, or miners).  You don't need to run! Besides...you'd only smell more! And then you'd attract more mosquitos.  And who the hell wants more mosquitos?

So I didn't run, despite bringing my running shoes. Bad bad bad.  But I did have a marvelous time! Yay! And now I'm determined to get in uber shape so I can hike ALL THE MOUNTAINS with out getting winded.  Ha.  Just kidding. 

Achilles Tendonitis

I was super tired this morning when I woke up.  Super tired. Tired enough to hit the snooze for 40 minutes straight.  Work was ROUGH yesterday, crazy crazy things went down.  But as I am bound HIPPA, I cannot tell the stories of my job.  Suffice it to say summer has returned to Portland and it is now officially Trauma season.  Whee.

Anyway, when I finally dragged my protesting and still sleepy body from my bed (at 6:15 mind you) I noticed something was off with my right ankle.  It hurt.  I figured I slept strangely, and chalked it up to getting old and thought nothing of it as I sleepily went through my morning routine. 

When it still hurt two hours later, post caffeine induced wake up and leisurely jaunt around the hospital I decided to have it looked at.  And that my friends is when it comes in handy to work with doctors all day long.  I went to the new intern, who despite being on the trauma service is specializing in orthopaedics, and complained:

"My ankle hurts.  What's wrong with it?"  (golly how we medical professionals love that question.)

"Um. Can you tell me more about it? How long has it been hurting?"

"Just this morning.  It's achy, right along my achilles tendon."

"Ah.  Do you run?"

"Yes. I'm training for a marathon.

"Okay, have you recently increased your mileage?"

"Uh...kinda?"

"Do you stretch?"

"Yes. Mostly.....usually."

"Have your calves been tight recently?"

"Yes. I complain about it all the time."

"You probably have achilles tendonitis."

(He then made me move my ankle all around.  It moves, but isn't super comfortable to do so.  Especially when flexing my foot. )

"Yup.  Probably achilles tendonitis."

"I hope this isn't the part where you tell me to rest and to ease up on training because I'm running Hood to Coast in a month, and with a bunch of strangers, so I can't let them down. "

"It is.  I'm telling you not to run today, and to listen to your body.  If you don't take this seriously now you could end up having surgery on your ankle and then where would you be?"

"Snarky comment regarding how I've been a RN since he started med school."

Silence.

"I'm sorry.  I appreciate you looking at my ankle.  I just don't want to slow down."

So. Yeah. Achilles tendonitis.  And I'm finally meeting with Allison again on Weds.  We'll see how all this goes.  I'm a little nervous.  I had pretty severe shoulder problems when I was a swimmer that started with tendonitis...so I probably should (for once in my life) listen to what the doctor tells me to do.




Okay.  That sounds terrible.  I mean listen to a doctor when it comes to MY health.  I'm pretty good at taking the advice of the doctors when it comes to my patients.

the half marathon that wasn't

So.

Apparently leaving my house an hour before the start time was a poor idea.  A very poor idea indeed, as I finally parked my car 45 minutes AFTER the 6:45am half marathon start.  Luckily the 5K runners were lining up for their run, so I jumped on in.

And got a PR in the 5K.  Yay. 

No strawberry shortcake though.  I didn't think I deserved it.

Next year I'm biking.

Reasons why I am NOT nervous about tomorrow's half marathon

1.  Despite feeling completely unprepared...what can I do about it now?  Answer: nothing.  Just gotta ride it out at this point.

2. I'm not thinking about it.  At all.  Otherwise I might get nervous and not sleep tonight.  No bueno.

3. Strawberry shortcake waiting for me at the finish line. YUM.

4. It'll happen. Not matter what happens at 6:45 tomorrow morning, in exactly 24 hours it'll be behind me.  I often have to remind my self of this when facing new challenges, or experiences that I'm not necessarily looking forward to.  It works everytime.

5. Not doing the race is not an option.  I'm an adult, I knew I was going to run it. And I will, even though I've majorly slacked on the training.  I don't care if I have to walk for the majority, I will cross that finish line.

6. I have a new lululemon tank to wear.  Though, it'd better warm up if I'm going to wear it.

7. I just started a new position at work.  This is where all of my energy has been focused.

8. Did I mention the strawberry shortcake?


Okay. Off to the fruit stand to buy some strawberries.  I'm making a strawberry summer cake for  4th of July BBQ tomorrow afternoon.  It's so yummy.

Wish me luck!