Hmmmm.

I had a thought this morning while sitting in traffic.  It seems most of my deep thinking occurs when I'm sitting in traffic.  Maybe it's the NPR subconsciously telling me to think about more important things than "OMG! Snooki's pregnant?!?!"  Anyway, I thought that if I'm really going to use this blog as a "training tool" (ah, accountability) then I should probably get in the practice of posting more.

Then I said "I should post every day in March!"

And then I laughed.  The driver next to me probably thought I was crazy.

I don't know what I'm going to post when I'm not giving a run down of the workouts my trainer dreams up.  I know I want to use this to help keep myself on track....but I'm probably not going to post pictures.  I just don't need awful pictures of me floating around the Internet. Isn't that what facebook is for?

I'm not going to tell the world what I eat for every meal. I mean, who cares? Also, I feel like talking about food would make me want to show you my food.  And we don't need to cross over into food blog territory.  That would likely be counterproductive to my goals.  Furthermore, it seems that people who tell you what they eat also want to show you what they eat.  How many pictures like this can one person handle?

See, my breakfast is arty.  And delicious.

So who knows what these posts will contain.  I guess they'll give my interneting some purpose.  And maybe I'll actually start to use my brain instead of passively looking at page after page of pretty pretty pictures. (I'm looking at you The Berry and Pinterest.)

Finally, it may help curb my voracious appetite for terrible television.

Maybe.

Personal Training: Day One

What a humbling experience.

How eye-opening.

Wow.

It's funny how who I was in high school still manages to influence the way I think of myself now.  No, I'm not foolish enough to still consider myself to be a "competitive swimmer."  Those crazy days are far behind me (ack! 11 years!?!?) But somehow all that training has led me to think of myself as a fairly fit person.

Hey. I finished the Portland Half-Marathon a mere 5 months ago.

Alas, it seems sitting on my butt in front of the television for 5 months (practically half a year! oi!)  does little to keep me in any sort of "good" physical condition.

I'm not in good physical condition. Not at all.

My body fat percent is currently 36%. THIRTY SIX PERCENT! That's almost half of my body! It's a mere three percentage points from dropping me in the "obese" category (let's not even discuss my BMI.)  As it stands I'm already at an increased risk for weight related diseases: heart disease, diabetes and hypertension.  Oi with the poodles already.

So.

Cross out all the things you've done.

Graduated High School. Kissed someone. Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Collected something really stupid. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing.Watched four movies in one night. Gone for long periods of time with out sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Dealt drugs. Taken a college level course. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado. Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid). Watched someone die. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Spent over $200 in one day. Flown on a plane. Had your virginity taken. Taken someone’s virginity. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Cut yourself (like a paper cut #JUSTTOBECLEAR).Had a best friend. Lost someone you loved. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Had detention. Skipped school. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. Dropped out of school. Been in a mental hospital. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.Had an online diary. Fired a gun. Gambled in a casino. Had a yard sale. Had a lemonade stand. Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Taken a lie detector test. Swam with dolphins. Gone to sea world. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Wondered about your sexuality. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Had a drug or alcohol problem. Been in a fist fight. Suffered any form of abuse. Had a hamster. Petted a wild animal.Used a credit card. Gone surfing in California. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Had something pierced. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll. Known someone with HIV or AIDS. Taken pictures with a webcam. Started a fire. Gotten caught having a party while parents were gone away.

My Papa's Waltz
Theodore Roethke

The whiskey on your breath
Could make a small boy dizzy
But I hung on like death:
Such waltzing was not easy.

We romped until the pans
Slid from the kitchen shelf;
My mother's countenance
Could not unfrown itself.

The hand that held my wrist
Was battered on one knuckle;
At every step you missed
My right ear scraped a buckle.

You beat time on my head
With a palm caked hard by dirt,
Then waltzed me off to bed
Still clinging to your shirt.

Revoked

Reasons why calling me an "adult" is laughable:

1. The state of my bedroom floor.
1a. No, that isn't a new rug. Just clothes.
1b. Yes, clean and dirty. Mixed together. On the floor. (Fancy!)
1c. Oh! And some towels, from the clean kitchen and bathroom? Just throw them there...on the floor!

2. My inability to stay focused on ANYTHING for longer than 10 minutes.
2a. I have to set a timer to remind myself to go check my laundry.
2b. The cycle lasts only 30 minutes. But I cannot manage this without the timer. Oi.

3. The fact that I still justify "treats" for myself when managing my behavior at the grocery store.
3a. Fact. I was a Trader Joe's and bought myself one of these, because I'd done such a good job with healthy shopping.
3b. Yes I realize how silly the purchase is. I haven't eaten it.
3c. Yet.

4. My absurd love of the color pink, and the fact that i am compelled to purchase items just because they are pink.

5. The fact that I bought two 8 packs of mini croissants for work tomorrow, thought "12 will be perfect!" and then was surprised when I had 16 to arrange on a baking tray.
5a. The scary thing about this is the fact that I have to do math at work. Frequently.
5b. And sometimes that math means important things, you know, involving keeping people alive.

6. The fact that only 15 made it on to the baking tray because I dropped one on the floor.
6a. The fact that i picked it up, and put it back on the tray.
6b. And then took it right back off.
6c. And then put it on, and then off.
6d. And then put it in the toaster oven on "defrost" just to see what would happen.

7. The fact that it smelled like burning in my kitchen and I couldn't figure out why.


They should really take my adult license away.

sky grey sky

Today was a much better day than yesterday. A hundred percent better, a hundred and fifty percent better even. I was up before 11, dressed in real clothes before noon and even managed to eat three separate meals today. (And all of the malt balls my mom sent in my Easter basket. Yes I'm 28 and my mom still sends me an Easter basket. Shut up.)

Yesterday was a bad day. Not a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Just a bad day. A day when I didn't get out of bed till 11, didn't get dressed until 1:30, and barely managed to get out of my orange chair at all.
Sometimes the rain is simply too much. Sometimes living in Portland is like living at the bottom of a sink filled with old dishwater. It's grey, it's wet and there is an oppressive heaviness just above you.

LAYER ONE:

* Name: Kristen
* Birthdate: February 18, 1983
* Birthplace: Lewiston, Idaho
* Current Location: Portland, Oregon
* Eye Color: Brown
* Hair Color: Dark Brown (much darker than I ever thought it would be naturally...thank you years of swimming and lifeguarding!)
* Height: 5′5″ish
* Righty or Lefty: Righty
* Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

LAYER TWO:

* Your Heritage: Basque and Irish
* The shoes I wore today: My running shoes. Mostly barefoot though.
* Your weakness: Pastries
* Your fears: accidentally killing a patient. Failure.
* Your perfect pizza: the gourmet veggie one at Papa Murphy's
* Goal you’d like to achieve: I'd like to go to grad school. I don't know what for though...

LAYER THREE:

* Your most overused phrase on AIM: I don't use AIM. I do facebook chat with my brother though. And I say "blurgh" frequently.
* Your first waking thoughts: “Nooooooooooo........”
* Your best physical feature: My....toes. Ha. I don't know. I'm pretty okay with how I look.
* Your most missed memory: The easy close friendships of high school and college.

LAYER FOUR:

* Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke. Only Diet Coke.
* McDonald’s or Burger King: Um. I guess McDonalds, since I like their fries and shakes.
* Single or group dates: Um. Single.
* Adidas or Nike: I should say Nike, considering I live in Oregon. But my running shoes are Addidas. And I love them.
* Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Pass. Diet Coke, please.
* Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
* Cappuccino or coffee: Yes, please.

LAYER FIVE:

* Smoke: Never.
* Cuss: More than I'd like to.
* Sing: Frequently. Especially in the car or shower.
* Take a shower every day: For sure.
* Do you think you’ve been in love: Yes.
* Want to go to college: I'd like to go to grad school.
* Liked high school: I did.
* Want to get married: Someday.
* Believe in yourself: Yes. Yes, most days I do.
* Get motion sickness: Yeah, on boats and in elevators. Weird.
* Think you’re attractive: I'm not repulsive. But I'm not "hott."
* Think you’re a health freak: Oi. I think about health frequently. (Which is good, considering my chosen profession.) And I try to make healthy choices....yet I do love those pastries.
* Get along with your parent(s): I do.
* Like thunderstorms: Sure.
* Play an instrument: Nope.

LAYER SIX: In the past month…

* Drank alcohol: Yes
* Smoked: No
* Done a drug: Aleve. And tylenol. And benadryl.
* Made Out: Yes.
* Gone on a date: No
* Gone to the mall: Yes. In Vegas. Blurgh.
* Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No. Never have, actually.
* Eaten sushi: Gross.
* Been on stage: No
* Been dumped: No
* Gone skating: No
* Made homemade cookies: Yes!
* Dyed your hair: No
* Stolen Anything: No

LAYER SEVEN: Ever…

* Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.
* If so, was it mixed company: I’m sorry, do people do that not in mixed company??
* Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.
* Been caught “doing something”: No? What does this mean? I was caught watching VH1's "You're Cut Off" which was slightly embarrassing.
* Been called a tease: No.
* Gotten beaten up: Never.
* Shoplifted: I tried once, but I felt so bad I took the thing back.
* Changed who you were to fit in: Would that work?

LAYER EIGHT:

* Age you hope to be married: No idea. Whenever it happens, I guess.
* Numbers and Names of Children: I have no kids. Just some plants.
* Describe your dream wedding: Uhhhh… one that results in a healthy, lasting marriage?
* How do you want to die: At home. In my sleep. Without agony.
* Where you want to go to college: I already went to college.
* What do you want to be when you grow up: No idea.
* What country would you most like to visit: Austria.

LAYER NINE:

* Number of drugs taken illegally: One.
* Number of people I could trust with my life: At least four, but probably more.
* Number of CDs that I own: Several. And they're all still in a box somewhere.
* Number of piercings: 2, each earlobe.
* Number of tattoos: zero
* Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Oh geez, I have no idea.
* Number of scars on my body: Lots.
* Number of things in my past that I regret: Um. At the very least 3?